Perspective

For lack of a better title, I put what I put in the title box. This is about my perspective on my little brother's engagement, who, I am beginning to see, is not so little any more.

I was a little taken by surprise when my mother first told me that my brother was getting engaged in June and then they would set a date for the wedding. The first thought that came to my mind was, isn't he too young? I know he's financially stable now and doing pretty well for himself, but, you know, even though I am only a little over two years older than he is, he has always been the little one. When we argued and fought, my mom always told me that I ought to know better since I was the older one. I guess that's true for pretty much every mom. Every Indian mom, at least. My husband had the same sort of experience with his not-so-little-any-more brother.

When I had had a chance to think about it, after they had set a date for the wedding, I calculated that he would be a few months older on his wedding day than I was on mine. Which is, I'll admit now, not too young to get married, although at the time I was constantly telling my family that I wasn't quite ready yet. It's about the right time and the right age. But of course, what is more important is finding the right person. And that piece of the puzzle is in place.

Of Crushes and Dreams

Remember when you were a teenager and had a crush on the cute guy (or girl) and your world was suddenly centered around that one person? Remember how you thought that it was the truest of true love and that nothing would ever make that love wane? But then, slowly but surely, it did wane. The next time you had a crush on someone, you would think that the last one was just a silly crush, but this time, it's for real.

I was just thinking about the number of times I thought that way. I cannot clearly remember the faces of most of those guys. There were a few on whom I didn't just have a crush, but felt something stronger based on a solid foundation of friendship, and those are the only ones I really remember. But, at that time, it was very hard to say which ones I would remember and which ones I would think back to and laugh at how silly it all seems now.

(Don't get me wrong, I'm happily married, but I do still remember some very good friends for whom I once had feelings. Because those are memories of experiences that have been happy and sad and confusing and have taught me a little bit more about myself and what I actually need in the person I eventually end up with. They all got me one step closer to being able to choose the right kind of guy to settle down with.)

Now think about other kinds of dreams that you had or still have. Maybe you dreamed of being on TV. Flying a plane. Opening your own restaurant. Some of that stuff seems silly now, and some of it, you had to give up because you weren't quite as good at it as you first thought you were. Some of it, you may still be thinking about and may not be completely sure yet. But, once again, you can't quite tell when you're dreaming a dream if it's the one that's quite right for you or if it's one that you'll be laughing to yourself about a few months later. How do you tell them apart?

The only way to be able to tell is to actually go ahead and give it a serious shot. Not once, not twice, but as many times as it takes for you to be completely convinced. This way or that. If this is what you're looking for or if it's just a passing fling. That's the only way to actually find your calling, to be where your heart is.

A Special Evening

So yesterday my husband and I were celebrating Valentine's Day and also the anniversary of the day we first met. It's hard to believe that it's already been a year. One whole year of loving each other, annoying each other, of just being with each other.

We went out for this spectacular Boston Harbour Dinner Cruise to celebrate the occasion. Dinner on a cruise ship, champagne, roses, chocolate dipped strawberries (those were so yummy!), live music (Great music. Nothing like the cheap sounding live music you hear at Indian weddings sometimes.). And amazing views of the Boston coastline. We went upstairs all the way to the observation deck, which was open from all sides. We were chilled to the bone, obviously, given the 26 F weather, the 20 mph wind, and the fact that it's always colder at sea than on land. But the view was worth it. And so was everything else.

Friends, Marriage and Other Such Things

A few of my friends from college (and I) keep in touch with each other through a regular exchange of e-mail messages. That's been a significant mode of communication for a while now. It helps get things across to everyone at the same time.

When we started out, none of us were formally engaged or married. In the last twelve months, five out of the six of us have taken the pheras and the sixth is now about to exchange rings. What struck me as interesting is that everyone now signs their e-mails with a "Avantika & Mrinal" (both fictitious names) type of sign-off, rather than just their own name. The thing is, it's not just about the signature, is it? It's about just about everything under the sun. What you do, what you eat, when you sleep, when you get up, where you go, where you don't go, what you buy, what you don't buy... just about every decision is now made together. Sometimes that makes the decision easier, sometimes that makes it more difficult. Sometimes it makes life more interesting, sometimes it makes it duller. Either way, it is what constitutes the essence of marriage. Togetherness. Doing things together. Having dinner together. Going out together on weekends. Being together. That's what it's all about.

With Best Wishes

This is for all those friends of mine who are getting married this season. I have seven wedding invitations and counting for the next two weeks, and I am not going to be able to attend any of them. Because they are all in India. And, in case you didn’t know, I am not.

I remember, when we went to Tanu’s place for her mehendi function in February this year, we knew that Kavita and Anuradha were getting married within a week of each other in November. Ruchi mentioned that we would then be able to apply mehendi only once for the two weddings. Nobody knew then that Ruchi would be the one to get married first!

Ruchi’s been a close friend for nine years now, being classmates in college, in the postgraduate years, and also, briefly, a colleague. We’ve been out together to watch movies that nobody else wanted to see, and shop when nobody else wanted to shop. Hers is one wedding I never would have liked to miss.

Kavita, Ruchi and I had some wonderful times together because we lived close to each other’s houses and travelled together by bus in our college days. We talked of everything under the sun on those journeys. On a rare occasion when our bus was practically empty, we passed the time in a traffic jam by playing antakshari and singing at the top of our voices, unworried about the few but existent co-passengers staring at us. The company of friends makes even the DTC buses you travel by and the subway you use to cross the road, memorable, doesn’t it?

And Aman, who, as most of my former colleagues are only too familiar with, has been like an elder brother to me. Teasing me, pulling my leg, and also watching out for me and being protective.

This is for all of you, Ruchi, Kavita, Aman, Anuradha, Pavitra, Surbhi and Manoj. Don’t let the geographic distance fool you. My heartfelt wishes are with all you people. On your special day and forever after.

Six Months Of Matrimony

Has it actually been that long? It seems like it was just yesterday that I packed my bags and said goodbye to the life I had and started a new one.

I'm happy to say that life has treated us well in these six months. We've grown to understand each other much better, to appreciate the good in each other, and to be more patient with the bad. We've learnt to anticipate each other's mood swings, and now we know what triggers them and what the antidote is. We love doing little things for each other from time to time. We know that time spent with each other is the best time of the day for both of us. We know each other's needs and wants much better now, and we take good care of those little things.

This was not the kind of person I had in mind for myself, actually. Nor did I want to move away from Delhi. But sometimes, we find happiness in the most unexpected places, don't we?

Just A Thought

Here in the States, getting married is very different and, in some ways, very similar to getting married in India. We go out and invite our cousin's friend's neighbour and what have you when we get married. We invite everybody in the neighbourhood where we live. Or in the neighbourhood where we grew up. These people, on the other hand, invite people they're close to. People who actually mean something to them. I wonder why we do that, really. Why do we invite distant friends and relatives to weddings, people whom we see only at other weddings where we politely say hello and goodbye to each other and move on?

I've seen a few Hollywood movies and TV shows in which people get married in a gathering of fifty people or so. I've also come across a few where people get drunk and married in Las Vegas without actually knowing what they were doing. Well, of course, the ones who know what they are doing do sometimes take a year to plan everything out and make sure that it's just the way they want it to be. I'm not too sure if a What Happens In Vegas-style wedding is actually possible, but I'm sure they wouldn't let you do that in India.

But you know, It's not such a bad idea to just decide to get married and get married within a week or so, with just close friends and family as witnesses. I mean, all the time we spend planning everything out and getting all worked up over it could be better spent elsewhere. And all the money we spend on it could definitely be put to much better use. Just a thought, with due respect to other people's desires to host lavish ceremonies.

Things That Have Changed, And Ones That Haven't

A lot has changed since I got married and moved, but a lot is still the same. Here's some of that stuff.

Stuff that has changed:

• I now believe in the institution of marriage. I believe in arranged marriage, and in falling in love after getting married.
• I am much happier now. Probably this is in part because I am not under work-related stress and am getting enough sleep.
• I cook!
• I no longer wash my clothes myself. I toss everything in the washer, and then into the dryer.
• I have switched to brown rice.
• I am more open to trying new things to eat. But I am more cautious about the nutritional content of stuff that I eat.
• My favourite flavour for dessert and other sweet things (mildly sweet things that do not necessarily qualify as dessert - like oatmeal and breakfast cereal) has changed from chocolate to cinnamon. Chocolate is still a close second, though. Mint chocolate has established itself as a much-loved variation. I eat chocolate and cookies and such things a lot less frequently.

Things that are pretty much the same:

• I can still not complete three sentences of spoken English without switching over to Hindi in between, or pausing noticeably to think and prevent myself from doing so.
• I still love rajma. And watermelons.
• I still love writing. And reading.
• I still love Hindi music and try to keep up with whatever is the latest in Bollywood. I try to catch as many of the movies as I can as well.
• My favourite post on my blog is still this one.
• My favourite movie is still, yes, you know it!
• My favourite TV show is still Friends. The Big Bang Theory comes a close second, followed by Beverly Hills, 90210.
• I still go to the gym five days a week and take weekends off.
• I still eat Indian food at least six days a week, on average. Only now, I cook most of it myself.

Fantasies And The Reality Of Marriage

When I was about ten years old, I was fascinated by the whole idea of getting married. It seemed so magical, so exciting, to get all dressed up, wear intricately embroidered clothes, lots of jewellery, and look your best. Look your best for that one day. That would be your day. Each time we attended a wedding, if the bride wasn't already on the stage, I would pester my mother to take me to her. So that I could take a good look at the bride. I loved doing that. It looked like a lot of fun. I was into sketching at the time, and brides decked up in all their finery were one of my favourite subjects for my artwork.

Real life is so different from a little girl's fantasy land.

Getting married is not just about dressing up. As a matter of fact, for myself and for a few close friends I know, the dressing up was actually a bit of a hassle that we had to do because our families expected us to do it. If I had the choice, I would wear something a lot simpler, something which did not weigh close to a ton.

When you get married, you have to figure out if you're actually marrying the right person. Now, depending on how adaptable or how flexible you are, there may be more than one right person for you. Even so, it is not easy to pick him out of a line-up. You have to know what areas you absolutely have to agree on, and what you can compromise on. Deciding whom to marry is tough, but it's not the only tough thing you have to do. It is, however, probably the single most important decision that you'll take in your life.

Then there are all the ceremonies to plan. This is tricky as well. You have a large number of family members on either side, and everyone has their own ideas. You can't please everyone, but you also cannot afford to offend anyone. And you also want to do things your way.

Planning a wedding and then actually living with the person you married is not always smooth sailing. You have to make a serious effort to make things work. But you know what? It is also a lot of fun. It is also what gives you a good reason to live, a reason you never could have imagined before.

One Month Down!

Wow! It's been a month since we got married. Life has been a roller coaster ride along the super fast expressway (I don't know how much sense that makes to you, but it makes a lot of sense to me!). So much has changed for both of us. We've come to understand each other so much better. We've come to love each other so much more deeply. We've discovered each other's idiosyncrasies and other random traits. We've learnt to put each other before everything and everyone else. We've learnt that time with family and friends is always great, but a quiet evening at home with each other with some soft music is the best. This is the first time in my life that I've found something for which I would give up my blogging time, my novels (the reading. I've just managed to begin reading one. I'm trying to get down to writing pretty soon.), my favourite soap on TV. I didn't really know I could do that.

Life is beautiful. Here's to a lifetime of caring and sharing.

Top Five Things I Like About Being Married

• Having someone who cares for you in a way he cares for nobody else, and the way nobody else cares for you. It feels good to care for that person in the same way.
• Having someone in your life with whom you share at least one meal a day.
• Knowing that your life is no longer all yours, and that someone else's life is sort of yours now.
• Having romance in your life, with the security blanket of a strong commitment.
• Being responsible for and being in charge of your own house and also being responsible for a lot of things in someone else's life.

My Big Fat Indian Wedding

So it seems rather logical to begin at the beginning - from where it all started. For the uninitiated, or for those people who, like my husband, haven't seen a North Indian Hindu wedding in a significant amount of time, let me just remind you, this sort of wedding is a big event with lots of fanfare. It's generally not just a single ceremony either. In cities like Delhi, it's generally two or three major ceremonies interspersed with a ton of little ones. We had three of them.

I think what I'll always remember about my wedding is that, as everybody could see, unlike the usual, demure Indian brides, I was this bubbly girl who actually enjoyed her own wedding to the fullest.

At the venue of the ring ceremony, I was the first to arrive. Accompanied by a couple of my friends, I arrived before my family and my groom. That's apparently pretty unusual for an Indian bride. But once the panditji started off with the religious bits, for which I was not required to be present, I had a fair amount of time to spend with my friends in the bridal room.

Once we were done with the actual ring ceremony, Jatin and I were beginning to get a little restless and wanted to go to the dance floor. It took a while before all the relatives left us alone on the stage for a few minutes and we were actually able to go to the floor. My brother's friend Abhinav came to us at one point of time to invite us on to the dance floor. Once we were there, we completely forgot about the rest of the world and danced away like nobody was watching. Abhinav and the others were a little surprised, but happy. My friend Akash pointed out that we should be dancing like it is our own wedding, not as if we've come to dance at somebody's wedding. But we didn't really care for what people thought. We had a good time, and that's what mattered. That's when I actually got to see the true Punjabi that my husband is at heart. My mamaji, who'd flown in from Pennsylvania for my wedding, and who hadn't seen an Indian wedding since my parents', had a great time too.

At dinner that evening, when Jatin and I shared the first bite of food, my mom was so completely overcome with joy at the realization that the responsibility of looking after my meals was now off her shoulders. That was a beautiful moment.

On my wedding day, we had a few small rituals at home in the morning, and after a light brunch, I was off to get ready for the big evening. That day, I made it a point to check with my family and see that they arrived significantly before I did. Apparently I arrived just a little ahead of the baaraat. Tulika had already called me to tell me that the decorations were just great. The wedding venue was a farmhouse with a huge cottage in the middle of it. My wedding planner took me to the first floor of the cottage to see the decoration and the baaraat.

I was supposed to walk down a marble staircase leading out from the cottage and stop halfway down, on a landing, and Jatin was supposed to come halfway up, and we had our varmaala on the landing. I think it was all very beautiful.

We didn't get too much time on the stage, since the pheras were scheduled for eleven in the night. We were rushed off for dinner, where I managed to eat only two platefuls of watermelons (what with the heat, and the seventeen ton lehenga, and the open air venue!). We were both beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with all the adulation at this point of time. Jatin was rushed to the mandap for some sort of puja, and I had some free time on my hands. I wandered off on my own to spend some time with my friends. A few people were a little taken aback at the sight of a bride wandering about so comfortably all by herself at her own wedding, but I certainly enjoyed myself.

Abhinav came to check on me a couple of times. He wanted to know how I would get to know when I was supposed to go and join Jatin. Would there be a phone call, or an SMS, or would he be sent running to look for me? I guess everybody knows the answer, as both of us did then.

When the time came for the actual pheras, my mamaji and Abhinav came looking for me and Abhinav was amazed at the fact that I walked in step with my mamaji, who is a bit of an athletic guy and walks rather fast. I guess I was used to the weight of the lehenga by then.

The pheras proceeded uneventfully, except that the panditji and everybody else forgot all about the mangalsutra, which Jatin put around my neck later, at home, after I reminded him on the way. After a pretty emotional goodbye to my family members, I was on my way to what would be my home for the next few days. We were home by about half past two in the night, which meant that we got a fair amount of rest that very night, which is not seen too often in Indian weddings.

We also had a wedding reception on the day immediately after the wedding. By then I was a little too exhausted to get up and to get dressed for the evening. But I did somehow manage to get through that evening as well.

That evening, my mamaji pointed out that I was losing my mom and dad, but I was getting them. (I am now geographically so much closer to him and his family) That's not a bad deal at all, he said.

Well, things change, people change, situations change, and it's often for the better. I feel a lot happier now than I ever did in my life. Life after marriage is treating me well, as is my husband. More on that later.

Musings For Today

I had almost forgotten what it's like to be able to relax. I had forgotten that one can take a nap in the afternoon. That one can sit down and chill in front of the TV in the evening. Call friends and catch up.

The last couple of months involved a lot of wedding stuff, plus the knowledge transfer and everything else at work. Even on my penultimate day at work, my boss insisted that I should submit my performance appraisal form.

Today's been a relatively slow day, but it takes just such a day to realize how sleep deprived I've been lately, and how much I was in need of such a day.

It's also been a day of getting calls and e-mails from people who cannot make it to the wedding. Slightly disappointing, but, hey, when you send out wedding cards, do you ever expect all you invitees to show up?

And then there is this childhood buddy of my brother's. He's been like another little brother to me. He's working in another city and was talking to his boss about taking time off from work. The boss was not too keen on giving him Monday off. He told his boss that he was going to attend his sister's wedding, which is on Sunday, so there is no way he could come back on Monday. Now rather than coming to Delhi and calling up the office on Monday morning to tell them that he wasn't coming, he'd obviously prefer that they grant him his day off peacefully. Poor boss had to give in.

There are some friends who mean just as much as your family means to you. In the last one week, I've re-realised that I have an amazing bunch of such friends. Which is why leaving my workplace was no less emotional a time than leaving my home on the wedding day will be.

A Little Love And A Little Friendship

I had a good day on Sunday. Met up with a couple of friends in the middle of all the running around from one end of the city to another. Spent some leisurely time catching up with them. Came back home and had a nice, long conversation with my two best friends in Melbourne. It reminded me that geographical distances between friends are hardly consequential. When people know each other and understand each other well enough, it doesn't even matter if you are out of touch for a while and then get back in touch one day. It doesn't matter if you are so far away that when you are eating lunch, they are eating dinner and when you are putting up with scorching heat, their winter is on the way.

It feels a little strange sometimes, when you look back at how quickly time passes. When my buas and mamas refer to me by my childhood nicknames, I kind of feel like the chubby five year old who used to play with her bua before the bua got married and whom the bua used to call Bhabchu. I remember dancing at her wedding at that age. I remember, a cousin bua danced at that wedding, wearing my mom's wedding lehenga. I found that lehenga as I was sorting out some stuff today. I think mine is about seventeen times as heavy.

It was slightly weird, getting up in the morning and not needing to go anywhere. Since the 14th of February, I have been running around so much and getting up at seven or eight every morning, including weekends and other off days. Yesterday was the first time since then that I did not set an alarm. And today was probably the last time I got to sleep at leisure, until the time I land in Boston. Even so, these three and a half days have just whooshed past me in such a hurry, with so much to do, that I haven't really had much time to realize exactly what is going on. There were so many things to do at home, yesterday and today. I don't think I will have time for that in the next two weeks either. In between, I try to steal some time to check my mail and update my blog.

So many changes, so much going on, so much excitement. And so much exhaustion. But so much to look forward to. Life is good.

Four days to go.

Thoughts For The Day

I am beginning to feel rather free and even happier than before about the wedding. Now that almost all the major things have been taken care of, I am a lot more relaxed and able to enjoy this time. The essential clothes and accessories have been bought and deposited with the tailor, the venue has been booked, the cards have been sent to the printer and the pandit has been booked. So today I surprised some friends and myself by being able to find some time to go to my Alma mater for an alumni meet and meet my friends from post graduation. It felt great to remember the good old days and talk and laugh like before.

Went out shopping for a while afterwards. It seems that, after my choora has been bought, every other young woman I see is also wearing one. It also seems that, as a friend told me yesterday and as I also noticed today, a lot of women wear only half the choora after a little while. It must be more comfortable, I guess. But, like my mom says, if you do these little things, either you should do them properly or not at all. I think that kind of makes sense. If you carry out a religious ceremony, do it religiously.

This is a great time for me. I'm almost through with my shopping. Time for me to wind up work and enjoy the romance and visit the beautician and allow myself to be pampered!

Feeling Like A Princess

So I went out with my soon to be in-laws to shop for some wedding jewellery today. I haven't really done or witnessed anything like it before. Trying on all those bangles and necklaces and my in-laws mentioning that some of it looks like it is from Jodhaa Akbar made me feel like a princess. I must say that they were really sweet to me. It felt good, since this was the first time I actually spent such a significant amount of time with them. I think we all had a pretty good time today.

By the way, trying on a mangalsutra to see how it looks on you is quite an experience. It really does something to you.

What Happens When...

...a girl who barely believes in dressing up, and sticks to the most lightweight clothes, especially in the summer, suddenly discovers that she needs to wear an outfit that weighs about a ton, with jewellery that weighs about another ton, and look her glowing best? What happens when this girl who has never gone for two days without trimming her nails, doesn't touch a nail cutter for three weeks? What happens when a girl who's never been away from the country decides to get married and move to a far away land? What happens when her mom who can just barely handle a mouse and keyboard decides to design the wedding invitation on the computer?

Well, not everything breaks out in a state of havoc. Doing things differently from your routine, maybe even a little differently from the kind of person that you really are, is interesting and fun. Having so much to look forward to is a terrific feeling. I think that when one has good things to look forward to, it gives one a renewed vigour, an enhanced desire to live life fully. There's nothing quite like it.

Wedding Plans

I finally met the lady who's been helping my parents plan out my wedding. As we were sitting with her, looking at pictures and trying to decide what kind of decor to use, I couldn't help thinking of the wedding planner from Father Of The Bride, and the scene where everybody is looking at his album for wedding cakes and other stuff. That guy was quite a ridiculously amusing character, I must say. Mine is much more sensible. She is still quite amusing, though.

There are some random bits of gyaan I picked up today. There is such a concept of dishes that are inappropriate for a wedding dinner. Apparently my mom thinks that Dum Aloo and Kadhi Pakora fall into that category. I let her eliminate the Aloo, but I kept the Kadhi because a certain good friend of mine is a big fan of Kadhi. There is also a concept of coordinating decor with the bride's outfit. The color scheme needs to match. Wow. And I thought it was a big deal that people these days ensure that the groom's sherwani matches the bride's lehenga!

I feel like quoting Steve Martin from Father Of The Bride here today.

I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I've just been through one. Not my own, my daughter's. Annie Banks Mackenzie. That's her married name: Mackenzie. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. An adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine. Then comes the day when she wants to get her ears pierced, and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. From that moment on you're in a constant panic. You worry about her meeting the wrong kind of guy, the kind of guy who only wants one thing, and you know exactly what that one thing is, because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then, you stop worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. That's the greatest fear of all, because, then you lose her. It was just six months ago that that happened here. Just six months ago, that the storm broke.

More Tidbits

I wonder if I will be able to fit into the image of a shy, demure Indian bride. I remember Ruchi telling me after my roka ceremony that it did not seem like it was my function, because I was still in my usual, bindaas element. It should not come as a big surprise to anyone who knows me if I happen to punch my groom on the stage in front of all those people. I sincerely hope that doesn't actually happen, though!

I was sorting out my clothes today and figuring out what to keep and what to discard. Well, guess what? There are all these clothes that used to fit me nicely until a year and a half back and would now look like a sack hanging on a scarecrow if I put them on. Okay, I know I'm exaggerating a bit, but those who've seen me through the transition know what I mean. I mean, there are a ton of those clothes. They were actually just waiting to be discarded. Good that I found my excuse to do just that.

Have you ever been shopping for saarees or something of that sort and observed just how the sales person's expression varies with the price tag of the item that you show an inclination towards? I mean, if you are inclined towards a lehenga that costs a little less than the others, they will try to point out that there should not be the slightest hint of white or cream in what you wear on your own wedding. Or that you are too tall for this particular lehenga. And the instant you pick something that costs about as much as the Nizam's jewellery, you should see how their faces light up. You should hear their sales pitch at that time. They will leave no stone unturned in trying to convince you that you are looking absolutely breathtaking in this item of clothing that is competing with your wedding venue in terms of cost.

Time seems to be just flying past. I'm still trying to wind up things at work, at home, and keep up with my wedding shopping and my health. It's tough, but it's fun.

Random Interesting Tidbits On The Way To My Wedding

In the course of preparing for the wedding, things sometimes get stressful, sometimes exciting, overwhelming, joyful, tiring. In the middle of all of it, some things manage to be funny, and wash away the negativity with the laughter.

On one of my early lehenga-surveying trips, I asked the sales guy to hand me the lehenga so I could see how heavy it was, and if I would be able to walk comfortably in it. He told me that wedding lehengas were so designed that you could walk in them, but you couldn't run. What I got from that was that he was trying to say that I couldn't run away if I changed my mind. I asked him if that was what he meant. He clarified that he'd meant that you couldn't walk too fast, because people want the bride to walk slowly towards the stage. It was rather funny, and a little embarrassing, since it happened in front of another bride-to-be, and two older women, possibly her mom and mom-in-law to be. I can still clearly picture the zapped expression on the other girl's face!

My brother asked if brides arrive in palkis at their wedding. I told him that brothers carry that thing, and I would be more than willing if my brothers were willing to carry it. He immediately withdrew the suggestion.

My mom tells me there's a swimming pool in the farmhouse that we've booked for the big day. She suggested floating a gondola-like boat in it and having the varmaala there.