I always knew I wanted to write. I always wanted to publish a book, and I still do. But I have discovered that writing fiction is very different from writing non fiction. And my talents lie in non fiction. I have exclusively been writing non fiction ever since my school days. In recent times, I spent a lot of my time doing some freelance writing. You will see some links on the sidebar on my blog. Those links are there so you can read whatever I write in various places online.
But before I started doing all that, I did spend some time trying to put together a story. I started out with one, and went on to write two. Neither one was quite as good as I had hoped. But I would still like to share both of them with my friends, who have also been loyal readers of my blog. And I would still like to continue to work towards my dream of being a published writer. I am going to keep my friends and readers updated on my latest adventures and misadventures. Until then, keep reading my blog, and read my stories at your own risk.
Love, Marriage and Other Such Oddities is a semi autobiographical account of the phase when I saw a lot of people around me get married, and was led to believe, by my family, that it was high time that I did too. There are arranged marriages and love marriages happening in today's India, and there are about as many distinct stories of, and as many distinct reasons for getting married, as there are people.
PS: Certain people I know were rather interested to know who I would or would not thank in the acknowledgements section. The thank-yous are at the end of the book.
PPS: The cover picture is from my friends' engagement, and I sincerely hope they do not mind the fact that I used their picture for the cover.
Showing posts with label The Creative Writing Dream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Creative Writing Dream. Show all posts
Friday, January 1, 2010
Monday, November 9, 2009
Timeless Charm
Some things just seem to lose their charm over time. The TV shows you follow begin to fade in their appeal, the food you eat begins to taste bland. But some things live forever.
Sometimes I find myself getting bored of just about everything around me. How I Met Your Mother is becoming an unnecessarily long, stretched out story, and The Big Bang Theory's appeal, it seems, was only in the novelty of its theme, which is no longer new to me. There are times when I don't feel like shopping and I don't feel like watching movies.
And then, there are those things that come to the rescue. Like writing for pleasure, without worrying about what anyone is going to think of what you write. Having the time and opportunity to do exactly what you want to do. Reading a good book. Achieving something people thought you couldn't. Achieving something you thought you couldn't. Like when I finally got my rajma to taste just like my mom's. Doing something for someone else, and seeing them happy that you did. Some things are just made for that - making you and the people around you happy. They don't bring in money or food or fame, but they bring a renewed sense of self and achievement.
Sometimes I find myself getting bored of just about everything around me. How I Met Your Mother is becoming an unnecessarily long, stretched out story, and The Big Bang Theory's appeal, it seems, was only in the novelty of its theme, which is no longer new to me. There are times when I don't feel like shopping and I don't feel like watching movies.
And then, there are those things that come to the rescue. Like writing for pleasure, without worrying about what anyone is going to think of what you write. Having the time and opportunity to do exactly what you want to do. Reading a good book. Achieving something people thought you couldn't. Achieving something you thought you couldn't. Like when I finally got my rajma to taste just like my mom's. Doing something for someone else, and seeing them happy that you did. Some things are just made for that - making you and the people around you happy. They don't bring in money or food or fame, but they bring a renewed sense of self and achievement.
Friday, January 2, 2009
How Does Your Mind Work?
This is probably the first time I've thought of writing a post based on some thoughts I gathered from the comments space of a post on someone else's blog.
Your mind doesn't work the same way, or equally actively, at different points of time during the day. Or at different places. Or during different phases of your life. There are some things you can do better in the afternoon, and some that are better taken care of late in the night. And then there are some which refuse to let you have a moment's peace until you take care of them.
There was a certain lecturer we had in College, who used to tell us that, no matter where we are or what we are doing, our minds should always be looking for a solution to a Mathematical problem or the proof of a theorem. He used to tell us things like, if you are hanging on for dear life from the door of a DTC bus, and the conductor asks you to buy your ticket, you should tell him to wait until you figure out the solution to the metric spaces problem that's been bothering you all day. He narrated this incident when he, after much effort, came up with the solution to such a problem, and began to dance around in his balcony for the benefit of his amused and startled neighbours.
In those days, I was sufficiently enthralled with Mathematics to be able to relate to all this. There were times when I tossed and turned a problem in my head on the bus ride home. Times when I woke up in the middle of the night with a sudden breakthrough. Or, if my brother is to be believed, mumbled things like a(n) tends to l in my sleep.
You know when I get most of my ideas? When I am taking a bath. It's the only time during the day when I shut the door, literally and figuratively, on the rest of the world, do away with my worries, and relax. And only a relaxed mind can figure out that last remaining step in the proof of a theorem. Or the last line that fits into a poem that I've been trying to write. Or the subject for my next post. This is mostly applicable for my evening bath, because mornings are generally a little rushed, given the fact that I need to get to work, and that I certainly don't like making my carpool friend(s) wait. This is the major reason why I do most of my blogging late in the evening. All through school and college, I made it a point not to study beyond eight or so in the evening. But when I was worked up over something interesting, something Mathematical, it would, more often than not, come to me late in the night.
On the other hand, I can hardly, if ever, write code in the later phases of the day. That, by the way, is, supposedly, what I do for a living. Apparently the relaxed mind works very well at what it does, but it does only things that it likes to do. And the tense, tired mind grows relaxed if it does those things.
I've read a number of articles in Reader's Digest and in other places that tell you to figure out when your mind is most active and when it slumps, and organize your day accordingly in order to maximise efficiency. Tasks that don't need your mind to be too active, like sorting your mail, should be taken care of post lunch, when you're feeling a little drowsy. And code should be written whenever your mind is at its wakeful best.
I think this stuff makes a lot of sense, and I try to abide by it as much as I can. But what I find more important than all of this, is that, each day, everyone needs to schedule some time exclusively for an activity that relaxes their mind, makes them happy, and gives them a sense of achievement. If you're one of the lucky souls who get all this from whatever it is that you do for a living, great. Otherwise, you need to mark some time for this in your daily calendar. It works wonders.
Your mind doesn't work the same way, or equally actively, at different points of time during the day. Or at different places. Or during different phases of your life. There are some things you can do better in the afternoon, and some that are better taken care of late in the night. And then there are some which refuse to let you have a moment's peace until you take care of them.
There was a certain lecturer we had in College, who used to tell us that, no matter where we are or what we are doing, our minds should always be looking for a solution to a Mathematical problem or the proof of a theorem. He used to tell us things like, if you are hanging on for dear life from the door of a DTC bus, and the conductor asks you to buy your ticket, you should tell him to wait until you figure out the solution to the metric spaces problem that's been bothering you all day. He narrated this incident when he, after much effort, came up with the solution to such a problem, and began to dance around in his balcony for the benefit of his amused and startled neighbours.
In those days, I was sufficiently enthralled with Mathematics to be able to relate to all this. There were times when I tossed and turned a problem in my head on the bus ride home. Times when I woke up in the middle of the night with a sudden breakthrough. Or, if my brother is to be believed, mumbled things like a(n) tends to l in my sleep.
You know when I get most of my ideas? When I am taking a bath. It's the only time during the day when I shut the door, literally and figuratively, on the rest of the world, do away with my worries, and relax. And only a relaxed mind can figure out that last remaining step in the proof of a theorem. Or the last line that fits into a poem that I've been trying to write. Or the subject for my next post. This is mostly applicable for my evening bath, because mornings are generally a little rushed, given the fact that I need to get to work, and that I certainly don't like making my carpool friend(s) wait. This is the major reason why I do most of my blogging late in the evening. All through school and college, I made it a point not to study beyond eight or so in the evening. But when I was worked up over something interesting, something Mathematical, it would, more often than not, come to me late in the night.
On the other hand, I can hardly, if ever, write code in the later phases of the day. That, by the way, is, supposedly, what I do for a living. Apparently the relaxed mind works very well at what it does, but it does only things that it likes to do. And the tense, tired mind grows relaxed if it does those things.
I've read a number of articles in Reader's Digest and in other places that tell you to figure out when your mind is most active and when it slumps, and organize your day accordingly in order to maximise efficiency. Tasks that don't need your mind to be too active, like sorting your mail, should be taken care of post lunch, when you're feeling a little drowsy. And code should be written whenever your mind is at its wakeful best.
I think this stuff makes a lot of sense, and I try to abide by it as much as I can. But what I find more important than all of this, is that, each day, everyone needs to schedule some time exclusively for an activity that relaxes their mind, makes them happy, and gives them a sense of achievement. If you're one of the lucky souls who get all this from whatever it is that you do for a living, great. Otherwise, you need to mark some time for this in your daily calendar. It works wonders.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
My Time With My School Magazine
I think editing the school magazine and writing for it was probably the single most satisfying thing I have ever done with my life. I was pretty serious about it, I did it with a lot of dedication, but I still had a lot of fun. I learnt a lot about teamwork, and about doing a team's work all by yourself. I got my sense of achievement, my sense of independence from doing all that.
I did this for about three and a half years. I started out when I was in the ninth standard. Gave it up for a while when my tenth standard board exams were round the corner. I missed it badly at that time. The teachers told me that I should concentrate on my studies for that "critical" phase. Well, guess what? I have never been the kind of person who actually concentrates on her studies. I used to study the subjects that I liked. The other textbooks I would leaf through when I felt bored of the Mathematics and the English. So I missed writing really badly. And since they wouldn't let me do much for my beloved magazine, I tried my hand at a publicly circulated magazine.
As soon as I was done with the board exams, I went back to it. Soon afterwards, there was a phase when I was the only student editor for the magazine, and I'd become so obsessed with the whole thing that I used to neglect my studies and everything else I could neglect, in favour of working for the magazine full-time. Aditi, who is my best friend today, was the illustrator for the magazine then. She drew a cartoon of me depicting my extreme obsession with the magazine. And we had it published in the very same magazine. I think I'll scan it and put it up here. This was a time when I used to write the editorial, the news reel, and a significant fraction of the articles myself. My biggest problem at that time was that I was basically an introvert, because of which, much as I wanted to, I could not motivate other people into writing articles. So it was mostly Aditi's cartoons and sketches, Shashank's science fiction, (Which, by the way, was a huge pain sometimes. I just could not decipher his handwriting, which, at times, seemed to resemble something written in Telugu or Kannada. And when I could, I had a hard time trying to make sense of whatever it was that he was trying to put forth. But, in the end, it was interesting enough to be worth the effort.) Manu Bangia's random fiction and Jayant's odd, geeky, logic-based articles.
When I was in the twelfth standard, and my board exams were nearing, I'd already made up my mind not to let my teachers make me give it up this time. I was in for a pleasant surprise. My Teacher-In-Charge at that time actually told me that she didn't want me to stop working with the magazine. This is one teacher who never taught me, but is generally the first one I look for whenever I visit my school for Alumni Meets or Fêtes. The other Teacher-In-Charge I had, who first asked me to take this up when I was in the ninth standard, is someone I somehow never happen to see when I go to the school. But she met my mother (who is, by the way, also an English teacher) at a workshop for English teachers last year. She still distinctly remembered me, after all these years.
Sumit, Jayant and some of my other friends from that phase still point out from time to time that I have still not let go of the tendency to correct people's spelling and grammar, which I developed at that time. Sumit certainly has every right to say so. There was a time when I used to keep in touch with him primarily over e-mail, and I used to send his mail back to him, with the spelling and grammar errors corrected and highlighted in red (or pink!).
During those three and a half years, I was completely sure that I wanted, needed, and was destined for a career in creative writing. I wonder why I became any less convinced of that fact somewhere down the line. Well, better late than never for the realization to resurface.
I did this for about three and a half years. I started out when I was in the ninth standard. Gave it up for a while when my tenth standard board exams were round the corner. I missed it badly at that time. The teachers told me that I should concentrate on my studies for that "critical" phase. Well, guess what? I have never been the kind of person who actually concentrates on her studies. I used to study the subjects that I liked. The other textbooks I would leaf through when I felt bored of the Mathematics and the English. So I missed writing really badly. And since they wouldn't let me do much for my beloved magazine, I tried my hand at a publicly circulated magazine.
As soon as I was done with the board exams, I went back to it. Soon afterwards, there was a phase when I was the only student editor for the magazine, and I'd become so obsessed with the whole thing that I used to neglect my studies and everything else I could neglect, in favour of working for the magazine full-time. Aditi, who is my best friend today, was the illustrator for the magazine then. She drew a cartoon of me depicting my extreme obsession with the magazine. And we had it published in the very same magazine. I think I'll scan it and put it up here. This was a time when I used to write the editorial, the news reel, and a significant fraction of the articles myself. My biggest problem at that time was that I was basically an introvert, because of which, much as I wanted to, I could not motivate other people into writing articles. So it was mostly Aditi's cartoons and sketches, Shashank's science fiction, (Which, by the way, was a huge pain sometimes. I just could not decipher his handwriting, which, at times, seemed to resemble something written in Telugu or Kannada. And when I could, I had a hard time trying to make sense of whatever it was that he was trying to put forth. But, in the end, it was interesting enough to be worth the effort.) Manu Bangia's random fiction and Jayant's odd, geeky, logic-based articles.
When I was in the twelfth standard, and my board exams were nearing, I'd already made up my mind not to let my teachers make me give it up this time. I was in for a pleasant surprise. My Teacher-In-Charge at that time actually told me that she didn't want me to stop working with the magazine. This is one teacher who never taught me, but is generally the first one I look for whenever I visit my school for Alumni Meets or Fêtes. The other Teacher-In-Charge I had, who first asked me to take this up when I was in the ninth standard, is someone I somehow never happen to see when I go to the school. But she met my mother (who is, by the way, also an English teacher) at a workshop for English teachers last year. She still distinctly remembered me, after all these years.
Sumit, Jayant and some of my other friends from that phase still point out from time to time that I have still not let go of the tendency to correct people's spelling and grammar, which I developed at that time. Sumit certainly has every right to say so. There was a time when I used to keep in touch with him primarily over e-mail, and I used to send his mail back to him, with the spelling and grammar errors corrected and highlighted in red (or pink!).
During those three and a half years, I was completely sure that I wanted, needed, and was destined for a career in creative writing. I wonder why I became any less convinced of that fact somewhere down the line. Well, better late than never for the realization to resurface.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Ae Zindagi...
The month is almost out and I haven't written anything poetic in October! I will not let my poetic streak die!
This one is addressed to life and to the forces of Nature that control it.
Kabhi phoolon se hamaari raahein mehkaai
Kabhi pattharon pe chalna sikhaya tune
Kabhi khushiyon se daaman bhar diya
Kabhi aansoo peena sikaya tune
Jab humein andheri lagne lagi ye duniya
Kabhi chaand to kabhi suraj dikaaya tune
Sometimes I write just so my creative streak stays alive. With all the festivities, I did not find time to start work on my book this weekend but I made it a point to utilise every fifteen minute chunk of leisure time by writing something.
Okay, high time I went to sleep. Need to get up early to attend the puja at my brother's office. Happy Diwali, my dear readers!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Me And My Confusion
I'm a pretty confused woman. Two months back, I thought I was quite settled, career wise, and old enough and mature enough to seriously consider the prospect of marriage. This week I've been thinking I've wasted the last five and a half years (three years of MCA and two and a half years at my current job) doing something I really couldn't care less for. I'm not settled in my career. I don't even have a real career. I want to give up my current job and take up what I really love doing. I want to write. I have been looking around for a Mass Communication/Creative Writing course for the last few days but I did not find something that suits my temperament as well as my budget. Well, actually, I don't think I really need a degree in this field. But the thing is, I don't have what it takes to just give up my job and sit around and write. I just realized, this week, that this was the reason why I wanted to marry someone who was settled in another city. So that I would have to give up my current job. And then I could write, instead of hunting for another software job. Last year, when the subject of marriage came up in my house, I told my mother that I wasn't too keen on marrying someone who intended to settle abroad. Eight months later, things were completely metamorphosed. I was more keen on the guys who were settled or planning to settle abroad or at least outside Delhi. For all the wrong reasons.
These are the only two ways I see which can give me the courage to take the big plunge that I have been contemplating for so long. But here's the thing. This is not the right reason to get married. And I don't think I really need a degree. Plus, I haven't been able to find a programme that I like.
I was also confused about whether this post should go on my public blog or the private one. As it happens, in the last one week, I have been sharing things more openly with other people than before and I thought putting this on my public blog was in order.
Another extended weekend coming up. Hopefully I will be able to work a little on the vague idea I have in mind for a book. Don't ask me what that idea is about. I'm not planning to share that just yet!
PS: You know what? When I got back from Tanu's engagement today, I was feeling a little tired and I thought I would blog after a little nap. But there was this restlessness which did not allow me to sleep. So I decided to blog anyway. And guess what? I am feeling so refreshed and so much less tired!
These are the only two ways I see which can give me the courage to take the big plunge that I have been contemplating for so long. But here's the thing. This is not the right reason to get married. And I don't think I really need a degree. Plus, I haven't been able to find a programme that I like.
I was also confused about whether this post should go on my public blog or the private one. As it happens, in the last one week, I have been sharing things more openly with other people than before and I thought putting this on my public blog was in order.
Another extended weekend coming up. Hopefully I will be able to work a little on the vague idea I have in mind for a book. Don't ask me what that idea is about. I'm not planning to share that just yet!
PS: You know what? When I got back from Tanu's engagement today, I was feeling a little tired and I thought I would blog after a little nap. But there was this restlessness which did not allow me to sleep. So I decided to blog anyway. And guess what? I am feeling so refreshed and so much less tired!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Better Late Than Never
I did a lot of things pretty late in life. Not the stuff like learning to talk, or count, or read, or crawl, or walk. My mom tells me I did all those things pretty early. At a significantly earlier age than my brother. But you know, most girls develop a liking (or an obsession) for junk jewelry and kurtas and skirts in their college days. Not me. I hardly worried about my clothes or accessories throughout my six years in the North Campus of the University of Delhi.
Barely ever thought about how I looked or how much I weighed. I know some people will find this really hard to digest, but I owned only about three pairs of earrings when I was in college. (I know Abhinav will have lots of comments to voice after the last sentence). I was twenty three years old when I first travelled by air. My mom was at least ten years younger when she did that. I lived in Delhi for twenty four and a half years before I visited Jaipur for the first (and so far, only) time. I mean, Jaipur is very worth seeing and it's only a longish stone's throw away from Delhi.
When my brother was in the tenth standard, he already knew that regular education was not meant for him and he was not meant for it. He, and a friend of his, who used to appear for re-test after re-test after being unable to score sixty percent in their pre-board exams, figured that they would get nowhere with this education system, and that they should give it all up and start their own enterprise. Just after barely managing to scrape by three years of college, he did start his first enterprise with the same friend. It's a different story that that start up did not do too well. But he did not give up on his dream. He went and started something else in partnership with another friend. He knew exactly what he wanted, kept that in focus, and never lost sight of it. These days he's still struggling, but he's slowly and steadily finding his footing.
I have a point.
I also knew, fifteen years ago, that I wanted to do something creative. Twelve years back, I knew what that something creative was. I knew that I wanted to write. I knew, at that time, come what may, I will, one day, write a book and get it published. I just never knew how important that dream was to me. I just somehow lost sight of it. I never knew that it would not be too long before something or the other would make me realize how meaningless my current job is to me, and that I needed to do exactly what is closer to my heart. Whenever somebody asked me if I ever thought about doing an MBA, I'd always say that I'd had enough college education and simply did not have the patience, willpower, or inclination for any more of it. And here I am today, suddenly telling my friends that I want to go to some foreign University and study Mass Communication. That's what I wanted to do right after school too. Only without the "foreign University" clause. That's what I always wanted to do. But is it too late in life for me to do something like this? Well, enough is enough. It is never too late to do what your heart desires. Never too late to make a run for your real goals. Never too late to fall in love. Never too late to look for happiness. We all owe it to ourselves.
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
Barely ever thought about how I looked or how much I weighed. I know some people will find this really hard to digest, but I owned only about three pairs of earrings when I was in college. (I know Abhinav will have lots of comments to voice after the last sentence). I was twenty three years old when I first travelled by air. My mom was at least ten years younger when she did that. I lived in Delhi for twenty four and a half years before I visited Jaipur for the first (and so far, only) time. I mean, Jaipur is very worth seeing and it's only a longish stone's throw away from Delhi.
When my brother was in the tenth standard, he already knew that regular education was not meant for him and he was not meant for it. He, and a friend of his, who used to appear for re-test after re-test after being unable to score sixty percent in their pre-board exams, figured that they would get nowhere with this education system, and that they should give it all up and start their own enterprise. Just after barely managing to scrape by three years of college, he did start his first enterprise with the same friend. It's a different story that that start up did not do too well. But he did not give up on his dream. He went and started something else in partnership with another friend. He knew exactly what he wanted, kept that in focus, and never lost sight of it. These days he's still struggling, but he's slowly and steadily finding his footing.
I have a point.
I also knew, fifteen years ago, that I wanted to do something creative. Twelve years back, I knew what that something creative was. I knew that I wanted to write. I knew, at that time, come what may, I will, one day, write a book and get it published. I just never knew how important that dream was to me. I just somehow lost sight of it. I never knew that it would not be too long before something or the other would make me realize how meaningless my current job is to me, and that I needed to do exactly what is closer to my heart. Whenever somebody asked me if I ever thought about doing an MBA, I'd always say that I'd had enough college education and simply did not have the patience, willpower, or inclination for any more of it. And here I am today, suddenly telling my friends that I want to go to some foreign University and study Mass Communication. That's what I wanted to do right after school too. Only without the "foreign University" clause. That's what I always wanted to do. But is it too late in life for me to do something like this? Well, enough is enough. It is never too late to do what your heart desires. Never too late to make a run for your real goals. Never too late to fall in love. Never too late to look for happiness. We all owe it to ourselves.
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
How It All Began
Okay, this is way past its due date, but this is all very instrumental to how Random Musings came into existence.
There was a time when I just felt like sharing some random thoughts with my friends. One fine day, my cubicle neighbour, Bhatti, told me he found them interesting and I should write them down on a blog.
Well, as it happens, that was just the push I needed. I thought those initial thoughts definitely deserve a place of pride on this blog. So here goes.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Ever notice how we never realize what we were missing until it arrives?
How we never notice the void in our lives until we find something to fill it up with?
There’s this conversation in the movie Failure to Launch which I found interesting:
Tripp: Do you have real feelings?
Paula: Of course I have real feelings!
Tripp: For what?
Paula: For you! And believe me I did not want that because I had a good life before you. Well, not good... but... it was okay. Well... it was empty actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Whereas now... because of you... I am acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Why is it that we feel like being left alone when we need to be with friends the most?
That we feel like not talking about the stuff that we most need to talk about?
That we find the best things in life where we least expect to find them?
And if we do find something good that we’ve always been looking for, we fail to recognize and appreciate it?
A little piece from Sleepless in Seattle that is rather interesting and thought provoking, although you might need to know the context somewhat:
JAY: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
SAM: The Bermuda Triangle.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Disclaimer: no male bashing intended
I have a feeling that guys do not, in general, like it when girls make the first move in a relationship. Even if the girl is someone you’d otherwise find attractive and nice and interesting, you’d probably not like it if she asks you out first. A friend of mine (a guy) once explained to me at length that a guy would want a girl to ask him out, but he would not like it if she does. I was given a long discourse on the difference between like, want and need which I will not go into right now, but it’s an interesting thing to think about and to do some research on :P
A conversation from Sleepless in Seattle between a guy (Sam) and his son, Jonah, who’s about eight.
SAM: You see someone you like, you get a feeling about them, you ask them if they want to have a drink or --
JONAH: -- a slice of pizza --
SAM: But not dinner necessarily on the first date because by the time you're halfway through dinner you might be sorry you asked them to dinner whereas if it's just a drink, if you like them you can always ask them for dinner but if you don't you can go home if you see what I mean.
I wonder if it still works this way.
JONAH: It doesn't. They ask you.
SAM: I'm starting to notice that.
Oh, by the way, if some of you people have started to feel that I have started spamming you with total nonsense these days, you are more than welcome to express that feeling. Not that it’s going to make me stop, but I’d like to hear that expression of your feelings anyway.
Today
Thanks Bhatti, for pushing me in this direction.
By the way, Bhatti recently sent me a link to someone's blog. Now this someone is a girl I don't know, and I don't think Bhatti knows her either. But she is someone who is an engineer by qualification, who gave up her engineering job to become a magazine editor. I am having so much fun reading her blog! This just might be the push I need right now.
There was a time when I just felt like sharing some random thoughts with my friends. One fine day, my cubicle neighbour, Bhatti, told me he found them interesting and I should write them down on a blog.
Well, as it happens, that was just the push I needed. I thought those initial thoughts definitely deserve a place of pride on this blog. So here goes.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Ever notice how we never realize what we were missing until it arrives?
How we never notice the void in our lives until we find something to fill it up with?
There’s this conversation in the movie Failure to Launch which I found interesting:
Tripp: Do you have real feelings?
Paula: Of course I have real feelings!
Tripp: For what?
Paula: For you! And believe me I did not want that because I had a good life before you. Well, not good... but... it was okay. Well... it was empty actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Whereas now... because of you... I am acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Why is it that we feel like being left alone when we need to be with friends the most?
That we feel like not talking about the stuff that we most need to talk about?
That we find the best things in life where we least expect to find them?
And if we do find something good that we’ve always been looking for, we fail to recognize and appreciate it?
A little piece from Sleepless in Seattle that is rather interesting and thought provoking, although you might need to know the context somewhat:
JAY: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
SAM: The Bermuda Triangle.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Disclaimer: no male bashing intended
I have a feeling that guys do not, in general, like it when girls make the first move in a relationship. Even if the girl is someone you’d otherwise find attractive and nice and interesting, you’d probably not like it if she asks you out first. A friend of mine (a guy) once explained to me at length that a guy would want a girl to ask him out, but he would not like it if she does. I was given a long discourse on the difference between like, want and need which I will not go into right now, but it’s an interesting thing to think about and to do some research on :P
A conversation from Sleepless in Seattle between a guy (Sam) and his son, Jonah, who’s about eight.
SAM: You see someone you like, you get a feeling about them, you ask them if they want to have a drink or --
JONAH: -- a slice of pizza --
SAM: But not dinner necessarily on the first date because by the time you're halfway through dinner you might be sorry you asked them to dinner whereas if it's just a drink, if you like them you can always ask them for dinner but if you don't you can go home if you see what I mean.
I wonder if it still works this way.
JONAH: It doesn't. They ask you.
SAM: I'm starting to notice that.
Oh, by the way, if some of you people have started to feel that I have started spamming you with total nonsense these days, you are more than welcome to express that feeling. Not that it’s going to make me stop, but I’d like to hear that expression of your feelings anyway.
Today
Thanks Bhatti, for pushing me in this direction.
By the way, Bhatti recently sent me a link to someone's blog. Now this someone is a girl I don't know, and I don't think Bhatti knows her either. But she is someone who is an engineer by qualification, who gave up her engineering job to become a magazine editor. I am having so much fun reading her blog! This just might be the push I need right now.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Cleaning Up...
Today I spent the better part of my day cleaning out some of my closets. This is an almost annual activity for me, but I normally refrain from throwing out any of my stuff. Today I'd decided to be ruthless in deciding what to throw out and what to keep. Not to say that I would ever throw out something like my College Yearbook. No way, not even in a fit of extreme ruthlessness. But today I did throw out a lot of stuff I'd been hanging on to for five or six years for no apparent reason, except that I am a bit of a pack rat. By the way, for those of you unfamiliar with the term "pack rat," I looked it up on Wikipedia, and here's what their article says: "This article is about the rodent. For the human behavior, see compulsive hoarding."
Coming back to my point, I did find so many things that I should have thrown out six years ago, but I did find so many others that I would want to keep for the next sixty (if I do live that long, that is). There is so much stuff in my closets that reminds me of who I really am, of what I once wanted to be, of what I once was. The many issues of my school magazine that I edited and wrote articles for, the issue of Teens Today that reminds me that I do have what it takes to be a published writer, the innumerable prospectuses (I actually did not know the plural form of prospectus. This is what Merriam-Webster and wiktionary say.) of British Universities that I gathered towards the end of my undergraduate degree, when I was planning to apply for higher studies in Mathematics, the offer letters from the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge (the only ones I actually applied to), the sketches I drew in the days when I was aspiring to go to NIFT and be a fashion designer. Now these are the things I can never throw away. (Except the prospectuses. I kept the ones from Oxford and Cambridge, but got rid of the rest.) This is the stuff that forms such an integral part of my identity that I can never imagine doing away with any of it. I even managed to dispose of the first job offer letter that I ever got (from Flextronics), because I don't think that that defines me half as strongly.
And then, of course, there is all the miscellaneous memorabilia. The College Yearbooks, the cards and stuff I got from various friends on various occasions, the photo albums, the large school-leaving group photograph, the lovely picture of me as a chubby two-month old in my mother's lap, the pictures from the school farewell, the College Fests, Graduation Dinner, the Tech Fest we organized during our MCA years... it is such a good feeling to recount all those memories.
I'm not sure why I am writing this on my public blog, because it does seem like something that's meant basically for me. But these are things that all my good friends should certainly know about me. And for the others, well, like I do say sometimes, I enjoy irritating people by making them read stuff that is of no consequence whatsoever to them!
Coming back to my point, I did find so many things that I should have thrown out six years ago, but I did find so many others that I would want to keep for the next sixty (if I do live that long, that is). There is so much stuff in my closets that reminds me of who I really am, of what I once wanted to be, of what I once was. The many issues of my school magazine that I edited and wrote articles for, the issue of Teens Today that reminds me that I do have what it takes to be a published writer, the innumerable prospectuses (I actually did not know the plural form of prospectus. This is what Merriam-Webster and wiktionary say.) of British Universities that I gathered towards the end of my undergraduate degree, when I was planning to apply for higher studies in Mathematics, the offer letters from the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge (the only ones I actually applied to), the sketches I drew in the days when I was aspiring to go to NIFT and be a fashion designer. Now these are the things I can never throw away. (Except the prospectuses. I kept the ones from Oxford and Cambridge, but got rid of the rest.) This is the stuff that forms such an integral part of my identity that I can never imagine doing away with any of it. I even managed to dispose of the first job offer letter that I ever got (from Flextronics), because I don't think that that defines me half as strongly.
And then, of course, there is all the miscellaneous memorabilia. The College Yearbooks, the cards and stuff I got from various friends on various occasions, the photo albums, the large school-leaving group photograph, the lovely picture of me as a chubby two-month old in my mother's lap, the pictures from the school farewell, the College Fests, Graduation Dinner, the Tech Fest we organized during our MCA years... it is such a good feeling to recount all those memories.
I'm not sure why I am writing this on my public blog, because it does seem like something that's meant basically for me. But these are things that all my good friends should certainly know about me. And for the others, well, like I do say sometimes, I enjoy irritating people by making them read stuff that is of no consequence whatsoever to them!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
My First Brush With Being A Published Writer
Not too many people know that the first time I ever made money on my own, it was from my original passion - creative writing. Flashback to November 1997. (Yes, it was that long back!) There was a magazine called Teens Today that I used to read regularly back then. They had a regular feature for which they invited readers to contribute full length articles, of which they'd pick one every month for publication. I made my attempt in, like I said, November 1997. And it was actually published in their January 1998 issue. It earned me my first pay cheque worth five hundred bucks, and a lot of recognition, appreciation, and criticism from my schoolmates. I wrote any number of pieces for my school magazine before and after that one, but this was what gave me an opportunity to bask in the limelight for a little while. I did this while we were all busy preparing for our pre-board exams and attending extra classes left, right, and centre in order to finish off the syllabus. So I'd actually been forced by my teachers to temporarily give up my almost full time job as the Editor-In-Chief of the school magazine. My desire to write was feeling suppressed, restless. And this was the outlet I found.
I was actually looking for my original, handwritten transcript (Because this dates back to a time when I didn't have very convenient access to a computer, except in the Computer Lab in school. And in class ten we did not even visit the Lab, because Computer Science was not a subject then, and supposedly that was a year to study seriously.) which I did not find, so I'll settle for the very slightly edited version that was actually published.
What follows is to be read in the light of the fact that I wrote it a little over ten and a half years ago.
Original Title: She's a Teenager, She's Pregnant, Whose Fault is it?
Teenage pregnancy is not very common in India, but in the US a large number of girls have such experiences. However, even in India, unmarried women do get pregnant while in, or after, college. Whatever may be the number of cases, the fact remains - teenage pregnancies are something that should not happen but do happen.
What I would like to discuss is, who is to blame and why. Is it the poor girl who has never seriously been told about contraception? Or is it the boy who is hardly any better informed than her, and even if he is, has developed the attitude that it's not his problem if she gets pregnant?
What I feel is, it is our society that is to blame. For, it is our social stigmas that prevent us from talking frankly about subjects like sex. But, why on earth do we have this bias against sex education or even against talking parent-to-teens on the subject? And then parents feel bad if their daughter gets pregnant before marriage! They feel worse if she doesn't tell them about it. In my view, every girl will tell her parents about such things if they do not hesitate to tell her the facts of life in the first place. If they don't even tell her that much, why should they expect her to take the initiative of talking about a subject like the birds and bees? Parents should make the first move towards bridging the generation gap and moving towards frankness.
Anyway, my main question is, why don't we talk about sex and contraception openly enough? Sex is what makes life continue - it is the major contributor to our very existence. It's something life cannot be sustained without. And above all, it's absolutely illogical to hide these facts from your kids because, even if you don't tell them, they'll get to know from somewhere else after a while. But they ought to hear it from you, even if not in complete detail, the very first time they ask you - it's your duty to tell them.
Times are changing. Just because your parents told you nothing till you were, say, twenty, doesn't meant you won't tell your kids till that age.Today's teenagers need to know everything there is to know by the time they are about fourteen to fifteen years old. Because, if kids don't know the facts, they tend to adopt wrong ways. And then the kids are blamed. What I feel is that teenagers indulge in sex because they are curious and are not given adequate or proper information. They have to satisfy their curiosity somehow. And if the theoretical way is not made accessible to them, they adopt the practical way - which is not considered acceptable by our society.
I feel that if we wish to make our society a liberal one, our first move should be to encourage sex education and awareness about sex and contraception. And it is not to be forgotten that though journals and books do have a contribution to make in this direction, the role of the parents can be played only by them. Parents have to tell their kids quite a few things that they alone can talk about.
When parents expect their kids to adopt good morals and ethics, they tell them about moral principles. They tell them about discipline. So why don't they tell them about sex? Is sex a crime, or is it something only social outcasts indulge in? Why is it that despite the fact that parents and kids need to talk it over, we feel embarrassed when we talk about it or even think about it or hint that we want to talk about it? If people can toilet-train their kids, why can't they sex-educate them?
Liberalisation is not just modernisation and being able to think about something from someone else's point of view. It's about removing the ills of society by talking openly and frankly and bridging all kinds of communication gaps, whether created by society or by personal opinions. And sex education and being open and frank about the subject is about the most important step towards a liberal, and better society.
I was actually looking for my original, handwritten transcript (Because this dates back to a time when I didn't have very convenient access to a computer, except in the Computer Lab in school. And in class ten we did not even visit the Lab, because Computer Science was not a subject then, and supposedly that was a year to study seriously.) which I did not find, so I'll settle for the very slightly edited version that was actually published.
What follows is to be read in the light of the fact that I wrote it a little over ten and a half years ago.
Original Title: She's a Teenager, She's Pregnant, Whose Fault is it?
Teenage pregnancy is not very common in India, but in the US a large number of girls have such experiences. However, even in India, unmarried women do get pregnant while in, or after, college. Whatever may be the number of cases, the fact remains - teenage pregnancies are something that should not happen but do happen.
What I would like to discuss is, who is to blame and why. Is it the poor girl who has never seriously been told about contraception? Or is it the boy who is hardly any better informed than her, and even if he is, has developed the attitude that it's not his problem if she gets pregnant?
What I feel is, it is our society that is to blame. For, it is our social stigmas that prevent us from talking frankly about subjects like sex. But, why on earth do we have this bias against sex education or even against talking parent-to-teens on the subject? And then parents feel bad if their daughter gets pregnant before marriage! They feel worse if she doesn't tell them about it. In my view, every girl will tell her parents about such things if they do not hesitate to tell her the facts of life in the first place. If they don't even tell her that much, why should they expect her to take the initiative of talking about a subject like the birds and bees? Parents should make the first move towards bridging the generation gap and moving towards frankness.
Anyway, my main question is, why don't we talk about sex and contraception openly enough? Sex is what makes life continue - it is the major contributor to our very existence. It's something life cannot be sustained without. And above all, it's absolutely illogical to hide these facts from your kids because, even if you don't tell them, they'll get to know from somewhere else after a while. But they ought to hear it from you, even if not in complete detail, the very first time they ask you - it's your duty to tell them.
Times are changing. Just because your parents told you nothing till you were, say, twenty, doesn't meant you won't tell your kids till that age.Today's teenagers need to know everything there is to know by the time they are about fourteen to fifteen years old. Because, if kids don't know the facts, they tend to adopt wrong ways. And then the kids are blamed. What I feel is that teenagers indulge in sex because they are curious and are not given adequate or proper information. They have to satisfy their curiosity somehow. And if the theoretical way is not made accessible to them, they adopt the practical way - which is not considered acceptable by our society.
I feel that if we wish to make our society a liberal one, our first move should be to encourage sex education and awareness about sex and contraception. And it is not to be forgotten that though journals and books do have a contribution to make in this direction, the role of the parents can be played only by them. Parents have to tell their kids quite a few things that they alone can talk about.
When parents expect their kids to adopt good morals and ethics, they tell them about moral principles. They tell them about discipline. So why don't they tell them about sex? Is sex a crime, or is it something only social outcasts indulge in? Why is it that despite the fact that parents and kids need to talk it over, we feel embarrassed when we talk about it or even think about it or hint that we want to talk about it? If people can toilet-train their kids, why can't they sex-educate them?
Liberalisation is not just modernisation and being able to think about something from someone else's point of view. It's about removing the ills of society by talking openly and frankly and bridging all kinds of communication gaps, whether created by society or by personal opinions. And sex education and being open and frank about the subject is about the most important step towards a liberal, and better society.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Returning to my dreams
I am one of those people who do not go after their dreams. Not one, not two, I gave up three interesting, heartfelt dreams to end up as a software developer. One of those dreams was about a career in creative writing. There was a time when I actually believed I had a reasonable amount of talent in that area. And it was an activity that gave me a lot of happiness and satisfaction. I don't really want to recall why I gave up that dream. And it's not that I'm miserable about giving it up. I am actually quite happy with my current profession. And nobody can actually say if I would have been happier or less happy with a career in journalism or something. But that is something that I do wonder about sometimes. But there is one thing I know for sure. When I put my messed up thoughts in words and torture people by making them read those words, it makes me immensely happy. Giving words to something I feel strongly about, or something that I am confused about, or something that I am unhappy about, always makes me feel good. And everyone needs something that makes them feel good. Hence this blog. Let's see how often I add to this, but I'll try to do it as often as I can.
And by the way, I know that certain colleagues of mine who crib about the colour of my media player will also make snide remarks about this colour scheme, but I like it, and it makes me feel nice, so it will remain this way!
And by the way, I know that certain colleagues of mine who crib about the colour of my media player will also make snide remarks about this colour scheme, but I like it, and it makes me feel nice, so it will remain this way!
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