Saturday, September 13, 2008

What Women Need From Men

I admit we're a complicated species. We're pretty difficult for guys to figure out. We're actually sometimes pretty difficult for ourselves to figure out. We'll tell guys that we want them to be truthful and honest with us, and then we'll go and get offended when they do. I know I'm no expert on the subject that I have picked for this post, but well, I am a woman and that does put me in a position to be able to express an opinion on it. And I've also gathered a lot of sense from whatever I've heard from my female friends.

We need you to make us feel good about ourselves. To tell us that we are beautiful. We may not be Aishwarya Rai, but we may have a really lovely smile. Or really beautiful eyes. Tell us that. And remind us of it every so often. It would also be great if you'd compliment us once in a while on how well we balance work and family and still find enough time to spend exclusively with you. Or how good we are at the work we do. That, coming from a man, does wonders for our self esteem.

We do need you to be truthful and honest. An occasional white lie in response to a question like, "Does this dress make me look fat?" is fine, but never, ever lie to a woman on the bigger, more significant things in life. Because she'll find out sooner or later. And when (when, not if) she finds out on her own, it will be a lot more damaging to the relationship than it would have been if you'd told her the truth in the first place.

We love surprises. Showing up at our workplace unexpectedly or sending us flowers for no occasion is going to make us feel really special. Not to say that it's not important to send flowers or bigger gifts when there is an occasion. You better remember our birthdays and anniversaries and make sure that those days are really special.

We're all a little insecure. We know we have our male friends and colleagues, but we're always a little jealous of your female friends. Not that we want you to not have anything to do with any of the other females on the planet. We know it's only natural and healthy for it to be so. We'd just like that, once in a while, you should remind us that we are more special than the other women around you. And don't just say it. Show it.

We want to be respected. We want to be acknowledged as confident, well-educated, professionally qualified, financially independent individuals in our own right, in case we are all those things. And even if we aren't, even if we are homemakers, we do not want to be treated like doormats and we will not have you walk all over us and have your way in everything. This is not the nineteenth century. We are just as significant in the scheme of things as you are. We do not owe you anything more than what you owe us. A relationship needs to be based on equality, understanding and trust. And it all needs to be mutual.

Okay, I guess I have a pretty long list here. I think this should do for now. I'll follow it up with another post on the subject if I feel like it some other day.

8 comments:

Akash said...

Hmm...

amitbhatnagar said...

Very useful tips!! :-)
I'm gonna take a print and put on the wall near my bed for daily revision.. :D

BTW, I'm sure there's a more dangerous sequel coming up.. The list can't be that simple and so short.. :-)

Bhavya said...

"More dangerous sequel"
Ha ha...
well, this covers the basics. And if you give it a serious thought, it's not such a simple list. I don't think too many guys have the time and inclination to do all of this

Akash said...

The point you have elaborated are looking more applicable after marriage. Please keep us aware of thing, which should be followed before marriage...

Bhavna said...

aur jiske liye akash ko paisa aur time na lagana pade :)

Bhavya said...

Akash: aisa kuch nahin hai, tumne lagta hai poore post mein se ek hi line padhi hai. It's all equally applicable before marriage.
And, ladies and gentlemen, Bhavna ne pehli baar mere blog pe comment likha and that was also not a comment on my blog, it was a comment on Akash! Actually, Akash is more worth commenting :D

Bhavna said...

hehe...aaj dubara pada yeh...iska second part nahi aaya ?? n lovely post :-) n lovely theme of ur blog :-) loved it :)

Bhavya said...

Bhavna: There was a sort of follow up to this here: http://searchforrandomness.blogspot.com/2008/09/what-women-dont-want-from-men.html

But haan, I didn't write an actual second part to this one. Maybe some time soon, I have learnt a lot of things in the last two years